As I anticipated the long awaited moment of becoming a Dad, I thought about the words I would want to pass onto you my children. In the-- hopefully unlikely-- event I am not able to personally pass these words on I wanted to record some of the major lessons I feel I have learned through trial and error. I have tried to make my words succinct enough to be a guide but not so specific as to suggest a particular path as I believe each of you will need to find your own path. My wish is that you be a good and happy person who leaves the world a better place because you are in it. I know you have made my world a better place because you are in it. All my love-- Daddy.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Quotes and stories Daddy likes
Be the person YOU want to be, not the one you believe others would have you be. (Daddy)
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; The courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference." (theologian Reinhold Niebuhr)
A woman was baking a ham in the oven. Her husband asked her, "Why do you always cut the end off the ham before you place it in the oven?" She replied, "Because this is the way my Mother always did it." Her husband remained curious so called his Mother-in-law and asked, "Why did you always cut the end off the ham before placing it in the oven?" and the Mother-in-law replied, "Because that is the way my Mother always did it." Well, Grandma was still alive and so the husband called her and asked, "Why did you always cut the end off your ham before placing it in the oven?" Grandma replied, "Because my oven was too small."
"The more I practice, the luckier I get." (I think Jack Nicklaus)
"Whether you think you can or cannot-- you are right" (Henry Ford)
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." (Aristotle)
"It's not what you look at that matters, but what you see." (Henry David Thoreau)
"The first law of holes: When you realize you're in one, stop digging!" (origin unknown)
"When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out." (Pastor Martin Niemoller)
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; The courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference." (theologian Reinhold Niebuhr)
A woman was baking a ham in the oven. Her husband asked her, "Why do you always cut the end off the ham before you place it in the oven?" She replied, "Because this is the way my Mother always did it." Her husband remained curious so called his Mother-in-law and asked, "Why did you always cut the end off the ham before placing it in the oven?" and the Mother-in-law replied, "Because that is the way my Mother always did it." Well, Grandma was still alive and so the husband called her and asked, "Why did you always cut the end off your ham before placing it in the oven?" Grandma replied, "Because my oven was too small."
"The more I practice, the luckier I get." (I think Jack Nicklaus)
"Whether you think you can or cannot-- you are right" (Henry Ford)
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." (Aristotle)
"It's not what you look at that matters, but what you see." (Henry David Thoreau)
"The first law of holes: When you realize you're in one, stop digging!" (origin unknown)
"When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out." (Pastor Martin Niemoller)
Monday, February 4, 2008
My thoughts on parenting
I think a parent's responsibility to their children is to love them, provide essentials for living, and lastly provide them with a map for living that will help them be independent and responsible adults that can pass good gifts of knowledge and experience on to their children. A parent's role is not to give children all they want, because a child doesn't always understand what is best.
A parent, however, is not perfect in understanding and can also learn from their children. Therefore, we must all be humble and prepared to learn more.
It is also my opinion that parents are not defined as the ones who provided the sperm or egg for conception of a child. Parents dedicate themselves to the welfare of the child and love them throughout their life. Being a parent is an ongoing act of love, therefore, and not an accident of conception.
A parent, however, is not perfect in understanding and can also learn from their children. Therefore, we must all be humble and prepared to learn more.
It is also my opinion that parents are not defined as the ones who provided the sperm or egg for conception of a child. Parents dedicate themselves to the welfare of the child and love them throughout their life. Being a parent is an ongoing act of love, therefore, and not an accident of conception.
Ethics
The Golden Rule
"Do unto others as you would have them do to you." I believe all ethical behavior can be derived from that simple sentence. Anything other than this, in my opinion, is likely extraneous religious dogma or a rationalization on why this important principle should be qualified.
"Do unto others as you would have them do to you." I believe all ethical behavior can be derived from that simple sentence. Anything other than this, in my opinion, is likely extraneous religious dogma or a rationalization on why this important principle should be qualified.
Imagine
Imagination begins with wonder
I believe a healthy sense of "Why?" and "How?" helps keep life interesting. It is that sense of wonder that leads us to imagine the possible explanations to our questions. Albert Einstein stated, "Imagination is more important than knowledge." I like to think that knowledge is the capsule, and imagination the rocket fuel. Both work together.
I believe a healthy sense of "Why?" and "How?" helps keep life interesting. It is that sense of wonder that leads us to imagine the possible explanations to our questions. Albert Einstein stated, "Imagination is more important than knowledge." I like to think that knowledge is the capsule, and imagination the rocket fuel. Both work together.
Judge
Karma
The warning in the Bible is, "Judge not that ye be not judged." Life, however, requires judgement in order to make wise decisions. We should, however, always judge fairly and without malice.
The warning in the Bible is, "Judge not that ye be not judged." Life, however, requires judgement in order to make wise decisions. We should, however, always judge fairly and without malice.
Persevere
Small drops fill a water pot
If you have a goal that you believe is worthy of your efforts, then do not be daunted by the time it takes to reach that goal. Great accomplishments nearly always require more than the usual degree of effort.
If you have a goal that you believe is worthy of your efforts, then do not be daunted by the time it takes to reach that goal. Great accomplishments nearly always require more than the usual degree of effort.
Power
With power comes responsibility
Try to empathize with and understand the positions of those for whom you have responsibility over. Be a leader, not an aristocrat.
Try to empathize with and understand the positions of those for whom you have responsibility over. Be a leader, not an aristocrat.
Visualize
What you see is what you get
Use your thoughts to promote success, not to convince yourself that failure is inevitable.
Use your thoughts to promote success, not to convince yourself that failure is inevitable.
Question
Think for Yourself
There are those who will want to tell you how to live your life-- including Daddy. Ultimately, however, you take responsibility for how your life turns out. Each one of us makes the choices that takes us down our respective paths. It is my wish that you thoughtfully consider the recommendations of those you respect as well as your own voice in deciding upon the path of your life.
There are those who will want to tell you how to live your life-- including Daddy. Ultimately, however, you take responsibility for how your life turns out. Each one of us makes the choices that takes us down our respective paths. It is my wish that you thoughtfully consider the recommendations of those you respect as well as your own voice in deciding upon the path of your life.
Life
Respect Life
Do not take "sport" in killing or watching killing. The circle of life requires some to die for the sustenance or preservation of others. When killing to sustain life, this should be done with reverence and respect. Life is an amazing creation, treat it accordingly.
Do not take "sport" in killing or watching killing. The circle of life requires some to die for the sustenance or preservation of others. When killing to sustain life, this should be done with reverence and respect. Life is an amazing creation, treat it accordingly.
Courage
Fear does not prevent courage, but defines it
Try not to let fear determine whether you act or do not act. Act wisely and responsibly despite the presence of fear. This will need to be learned as fear tends to impede clear thinking. Act or not act based upon your priorities, goals and values. The person who does what is good in spite of fear is truly courageous!
Try not to let fear determine whether you act or do not act. Act wisely and responsibly despite the presence of fear. This will need to be learned as fear tends to impede clear thinking. Act or not act based upon your priorities, goals and values. The person who does what is good in spite of fear is truly courageous!
Act
To do is to be
While external identifiers may be attributed to us-- such as race, appearance, family and citizenship-- what we do defines who we are as a person. What we do is constantly in flux, but if we choose well, then the essence of who we are will remain good.
While external identifiers may be attributed to us-- such as race, appearance, family and citizenship-- what we do defines who we are as a person. What we do is constantly in flux, but if we choose well, then the essence of who we are will remain good.
Prioritize
Travel with a map
Decide what your priorities are-- make a written list-- then write down your goals. Have daily, weekly and long term goals. Now comes the hardest part--DO IT!
Decide what your priorities are-- make a written list-- then write down your goals. Have daily, weekly and long term goals. Now comes the hardest part--DO IT!
Balance
The Tao
Life is a constant balancing act. I believe seeking balance helps us achieve happiness. How do you seek balance? Listen to yourself.
Life is a constant balancing act. I believe seeking balance helps us achieve happiness. How do you seek balance? Listen to yourself.
Accept
We have more similarities than differences
Accept others for what differences they have for which they did not choose (viz. race, family, nationality, physical appearance and age). Acceptance means living together without oppressing, shunning, or excluding.
Remember that no one has the right to impose his or her will upon another if the other's behaviors are not harmful to self or others.
Accept others for what differences they have for which they did not choose (viz. race, family, nationality, physical appearance and age). Acceptance means living together without oppressing, shunning, or excluding.
Remember that no one has the right to impose his or her will upon another if the other's behaviors are not harmful to self or others.
Control
Check your brakes
One may say, "I can quit any time I wish." He or she may be referring to drinking, drug use, gambling, smoking or any other means of physical and mental diversion or stimulation. If you think you can quit, then do an experiment-- quit for awhile. Then be honest with yourself. Is the craving constantly occupying your mind? Do you go to great lengths to satisfy this "need"? Do you hide this behavior from others? If so, then your brakes are not working. You are not in control.
It is my belief that some activities are just not worth risking losing control over and should be avoided from the beginning (particularly drugs). If there is an activity you have learned you cannot control, then you must accept this as your "Achilles heel" and avoid it and the people and places that make it difficult to avoid this activity.
One may say, "I can quit any time I wish." He or she may be referring to drinking, drug use, gambling, smoking or any other means of physical and mental diversion or stimulation. If you think you can quit, then do an experiment-- quit for awhile. Then be honest with yourself. Is the craving constantly occupying your mind? Do you go to great lengths to satisfy this "need"? Do you hide this behavior from others? If so, then your brakes are not working. You are not in control.
It is my belief that some activities are just not worth risking losing control over and should be avoided from the beginning (particularly drugs). If there is an activity you have learned you cannot control, then you must accept this as your "Achilles heel" and avoid it and the people and places that make it difficult to avoid this activity.
Choose
Choice is a miracle
In my opinion choice is a miracle. This is because if we assume we can choose--and I think we should assume that (otherwise what is the point of life)--then we can create a positive future for ourselves despite whatever past we may have had. Essentially: We can choose to step out of the cause and effect cycle!
In my opinion choice is a miracle. This is because if we assume we can choose--and I think we should assume that (otherwise what is the point of life)--then we can create a positive future for ourselves despite whatever past we may have had. Essentially: We can choose to step out of the cause and effect cycle!
Individuality
Sheep are cute, but don't be one
Sheep don't like being left out of the crowd. People can be a lot like sheep. Don't be a sheep. Don't allow the "group think" or a dominant individual to compel you to make bad choices for yourself.
Sheep don't like being left out of the crowd. People can be a lot like sheep. Don't be a sheep. Don't allow the "group think" or a dominant individual to compel you to make bad choices for yourself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
